Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 2 October 2009

image for David Letterman To Appear On The Jay Leno Show
The news media shown standing on David Letterman's front porch.

NEW YORK CITY - A spokesperson for The Jay Leno Show has just confirmed that talk show host David Letterman will be appearing on his new show.

Leno, who is known for his boxing glove sized chin, said that Letterman called him and said that he wanted to come on his show and tell his side of the scandalously salacious story to Jay's viewers.

At first Leno was somewhat hesitant, not wanting to have to deal with the old 'guilt by association' complex.

Leno was quick to point out that his entire staff is made up of nothing but guys.

He noted that, that way there is no way that he could ever have someone threaten to expose any lasciviously carnal 'goings on.'

Leno did however admit, to one time, back in December of 2004, kissing one of his (male) writers on the cheek, but he said that the only reason he did it was to win a $75 bet.

And after thinking a little bit, he added that back in October of 1997, there was that incident where he accidentally brushed against the cue card guy's (blank) in an elevator, but Jay noted that it was just because the elevator was extremely crowded.

Jay advised Letterman that maybe he needs to do what Conan O'Brien does and that is to always have a nurse present at the staff meetings.

Leno says that years ago Steve Allen who was the original Tonight Show host (1954-1957) told him that he always left the door open to his staff's conference room.

He said that Allen told him that he started that practice when one of the female writers, Emma Andalusia, accused him of stepping on her punch line, which back then was a euphemism for touching her on her bikini line.

Leno said that Allen fired the accusatory bitch two days later when she falsely accused him of grabbing her knock-knock jokes, which back then was a euphemism for fondling her knockers.

Allen said that three of his male writers testified at the trial that Miss. Andalusia had totally fabricated the story because Mr. Allen had refused to take her dancing at The Old Country Viennese Waltz Ballroom.

Steve Allen said that the media really raked him over the coals for firing the 83-year-old woman, who badly needed the money as she was in line to get a tongue transplant.

Miss Andalusia had also been scheduled to go in and have some extremely noticeable cellulite, that had formed on both of her ears, removed.

An inside source says that Letterman plans on donating his $372 payment for appearing on The Jay Leno Show to his newly established Late Show with David Letterman Staff Fund to help pay for therapy, counseling, and jewelry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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