HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Actor Matthew McConaughey has just confirmed that he will in fact be starring in the Universal Pictures movie based on the David Letterman staff scandal entitled, David Letterman - The Two Million Dollar Man.
McConaughey, who bears a striking resemblance to Letterman except for the fact that Matthew is much better looking, much taller, and still has most of his hair, said that he is thrilled to be asked to portray such a world-wide ladies man.
Texas-born McConaughey said that he has always liked Letterman, and not in a gay way, but in a manly, he-man, hey let's vamoose and go whup some ass way.
Letterman has said that he has always had a special place in his heart for McConaughey and he has looked upon him as the juvenile delinquent son he never had.
The film's director, Italian born Pasqualino Montepiano said that he recently flew to New York City and spent several hours talking to Letterman. Montepiano quickly added "But I dida nota talka to his staff."
Montepiano said that Letterman is a very funny guy who knows more knock-knock jokes than anyone he has every met. He said that Letterman is also a fantastic Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe player.
When Montepiano was asked who the female actresses appearing in his film would be. He stated that five actresses will be playing the leading female roles.
Meryl Streep will play Mrs. Letterman. And the Letterman staff members will be played by Angelina Jolie, Sharon Osbourne, Tatiana Del Toro, and Queen Latifah.
Montepiano said that the role of Paul Shaffer would be played by Jaime Foxx. When told that Shaffer was white and Foxx was black, Montepiano just smiled and said, "Hey data Jaime Foxx he isa one fine acting man."
Jay Leno was asked to appear as himself and he has reportedly agreed to just as long as he is allowed to bring along his personal hair stylist Mr. Ti-Ti of Tarzana.