A new chapter in U.S. diplomacy will be introduced when the Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, adopts tennis star Serena Williams' form of debate. Threatening to shove a tennis ball down a linesman's throat, Ms. Williams opened a new form of green court dialog, surpassing anything voiced by former tennis champion, John McEnroe.
Addressing Iranian President Ahmadinejad, Hillary may suggest he take his nuclear weapons program and shove the whole shebang down his no-tie throat.
While still spinning from her suggestion, she could add a further threat by dispatching former congressman and accused felon, Tom DeLay, to perform his putrid dance number, as witnessed on Dancing With The Stars. Mathematicians calculate that Mr. DeLay would have to perform for twelve minutes straight before Ahmadinejad capitulates and signs a non-proliferation treaty.
The night of Mr. DeLay's first performance, television sets viewing the program collectively broke wind and collapsed into a pancake. Critics are not certain whether it was the short bolero jacket that exposed his flat ass, the high waisted pants that exposed his flat ass or the Cuban heels that shot his flat ass to eye level. Yikes!
Not one to miss a sure bet, unnamed sources close to the Secretary of State revealed she may send Mr. DeLay to perform for the Taliban until they disband. Really tough nuts to crack, it is estimated the the Taliban might take a straight week of DeLay's dancing. Al Qaeda would be next, with Osama bin Laden running out of his cave, hands up, and surrendering to U.S. forces.
Using putrid performances as a secret weapon against the war on terrorism, Dick Cheney volunteered to do a top hat, soft shoe Ginger and Fred dance number with George W. Bush; Bush taking on the Ginger role. Former Attorney General, John Ashcroft, offered his revolting singing voice to the cause. While their contribution was recognized as disturbing, none were gaged as repulsive as Mr. DeLay's dancing. They were nixed.
Tennis racket in hand, Serena Williams asked Mrs. Clinton: If the war on terrorism is won, would she be eligible for a Nobel Peace Prize?