ZURICH, Switzerland - Zurich Police Chief Coco Bernberger has stated that he has been in close contact with the Los Angeles Police Department regarding the pending extradition of Roman Polanski, aka "RoPo" to California.
Polanski fled the United States over 30 years ago in order to avoid going to trial. He has stated that he feels that he is being treated unfairly, unjustly, and downright mean.
L.A. detective, Lt. Brock Goodwater laughed and said for Polanski to just wait until he arrives in Los Angeles and he is put in a jail cell with mean, nasty, vicious, hardened criminals like 6 foot 10 inch Flodell "Bull Balls" Covington or 315 pound Elijah "Crazy Crotch" Jackson.
Polanski's lawyer Burgdorf Zingen says that it is illegal for Polanski to be extradited to America since he was arrested under false pretenses.
Swiss Judge Ruti Schaffhausen told Zingen to be careful and not let his loose tongue get him charged with contempt.
The French government has stated that Polanski is a French citizen and he needs to be turned over to the French authorities immediately before France gets mad.
Chief of Police Bernberger told the French government not to hold their breath. He further added that if France even remotely threatens the Swiss nation they will have to answer to the five member nations that comprise The Countries That Like Switzerland A Lot Coalition, which includes the United States, England, Russia, China, and Mexico.
There are confirmed reports that China already has three battleships, The CS Ling, The CS Ming, and The CS Ping Pong sailing at full speed towards France.
Russia has the state of the art aircraft carrier, The RS Vodka Vamp on its way with its full contingent of 120 fighter jets.
Mexico's battleship El MS Montezuma's Revenge has left the port of Vera Cruz and is reportedly loaded with 70,000 burro pinatas filled with class 1 explosives.
And the British nuclear submarines The Sea Blimey and The Sea Fish and Chips have set sail for Le Havre, France, a distance of 105 miles.
Meanwhile there are as yet unconfirmed reports that the United States Air Force has just pointed 200 powerful state-of-the-art ICBMs towards The Land of The French Fry.
Reports filtering out of Paris state that French President Nicolas Sarkozy has reportedly changed his tune and is now saying "Roman who?"
An unnamed source has told CNN News that President Sarkozy called up President Obama and informed him that he has talked to the Swiss authorities and said that the French government will gladly pay for Polanski's plane ticket from Zurich, Switzerland to Los Angeles, California.