HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Actress, model, and succulent sex symbol Pamela Anderson has just stated that she will be returning the Presidential Stimulus Package check that she recently received in the mail.
She said that luckily she does not need the money. The staunch PETA advocate also stated that she understands that the checks were printed on paper which came from trees that were growing in The Grand Tetons National Forest.
And the trees that were cut to make the paper on which the checks are printed provided a daily diet to several forest dwellers including The Grand Teton Yellow-Bellied Stressed-Out Owl, The Tree-Dwelling Toothless Woodpecker, and The West American Wingless Walking Praying Mantis.
Miss Anderson has stated on several talk shows that over the years she has adopted over 200 animals, birds, fish, and bugs native to the Grand Tetons. In fact, many of Pam's friends have nicknamed her "Grand Tetons" Anderson.
Of course those who do not know her just naturally assume that the nickname "Grand Tetons" refers to her amply-endowed chest region.
But Pam is quick to point out that the nickname "Grand Tetons" came from the National Park in Wyoming, and not from her firm-sitting sweater treats.
In a related story. Pamela Anderson recently auditioned to play the part of Kate Hudson in the movie Kate Hudson - Rock Hudson's Secret Daughter? Pam disappointingly adds that she did not get the part because as the French director Franchot Gaspar stated, "Miss Anderson jur boom-booms (ta-ta's) are yust too how ju say eat...Mamaliciously shiganteek."