Written by Bureau
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Topics: Barack Obama

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

image for Obama Wants Year-Long Schooling, More M&M's In Packages
"Year Around School?"

The summer vacation that American students long for all year is in danger of becoming a very short one if the President has his way.

Obama says American kids spend too little time in school, putting them at a disadvantage with other students around the globe.

"Now, I know longer school days and school years are not wildly popular ideas," the president restated yesterday. "But the challenges of a new century demand more time in the classroom."

Another thing the President wants is more that 50 M&M's in the small packages and more than 250 in the larger ones.

Also, everyone should own a pet. "Owning a pet teaches responsibility. That's why I got the pet dog for the girls. I intend to propose a new bill on that as soon as the health care is passed. So better start picking one out right now."

Next Obama addressed the question of hanging one-size fits all shirts & shoes located in a convenient spot in every restaurant so no one will be turned away.

"There is room for everyone at America's table", stated the President.

Obama then continued the ideas of outlawing very long fingernails as they can become a weapon and should be considered dangerous.

He then requested that city councils around the country not only provide easy access on the street for the handicapped but also for the short people.

"Too long America's short people have endured the indignity of having sidewalks built too close to their asses."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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