WASHINGTON, D.C. - First Lady Michelle Obama has reportedly informed Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi that her birth certificate appears to be missing.
Mrs. Obama said that she recently went to look for her birth certificate when daughter Malia said that she wanted to take it to school for her classes weekly 'show and tell' exercise.
Malia initially wanted to take her father's birth certificate but her mommy said that the hospital in Hawaii where her daddy had been born had misplaced it.
Daughter Sasha asked her mother if there wasn't some way that her daddy could get a copy of his birth certificate. Mrs. Obama reportedly told Sasha that her daddy is way to busy running the country and trying to get it out of the horrendous economic mess that Bush and his boys had left it in to stop and fool with getting a copy of his birth certificate.
Malia, put down her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and asked her mom what a 'birther' is.
The First Lady sat Malia down and told her that a "birther" is a male or female who was born in the backwoods and who dropped out of school (probably the second grade) because he or she couldn't count to nine even if you gave him or her one through eight.
Mrs. Obama continued, saying that those people also hate Africa and especially Kenya because there are a lot of jungle vines there and these people are afraid of catching the African Jungle Vine Flu.
Malia made a face and said that those "bitcher" people sound scary. Mrs. Obama corrected her and said that they are called "birther" people and not "bitcher" people.
Mrs. Obama then told Malia that those people actually make the Chupacabra look like a little bitty baby Easter bunny.
Malia asked her mom if these people have babies. And Mrs. Obama replied, "Yes, sadly they do honey, sadly they do."
SIDENOTE: A 19-year-old girl from Baltimore reportedly called up White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax and told him that she has Michelle Obama's birth certificate in her possession. She said that she stole it out of Michelle's car while it was parked at a local D.C. mall. The anonymous caller said that she will gladly return it in exchange for $400. Secret Service agents are presently making arrangements to deliver the $400 and pick up Mrs. Obama's birth certificate.