FARGO - ND - The whole town of Fargo is on a new diet that is turning them all into buff hunks and twiggy babes. Key to the diet plan? Ice cream. Yes, according to Dr. Perlsrenth here eating a triple-scoop cone with me, this special ice cream is the key to weight loss.
Sweetened with the health bequeathing aspartame and loaded with great mouth feel thanks to Olestra, the non-nutritive fat, this new ice cream kills your appetite and puts zero calories into your system. Loaded with extra nutrients, such as protein and vitamins and water, this super food is all you need to eat.
People are coming from California to partake of this new diet, since the ice cream cannot be exported: it melts. It is only available at the corner of Main and University here in Fargo, at the drug store.
In other news from Fargo, there has been a run on brown pants, and clothing stores here are all out of them.