Written by lawyer
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Topics: Iraq, John Kerry

Thursday, 29 July 2004

image for Kerry's Killer Statistics
The Mayor of Detroit

Presidential hopeful John Kerry went on the attack earlier today when he announced to the worlds press that American citizens now have more chance of being killed in Iraq than Detroit.

Effectively America is at war with no-one, we are having a fight against terrorism but that is not the same as an official fully sanctioned war. Our enemy can not be pin pointed to one country, this is a global threat and one that I will undertake to fight in a better way than simply throwing soldiers at so called terror states.

If one was to take Libya as an example, this country and its so called government has long been top of America's terrorist state list, yet with the use of sanctions and global political pressure it is now fully co-operating with NATO and the United Nations. Not one American soldier has died to achieve this.

Another startling statistic is that more American personnel have died this year, than in the last ten years. This is no coincidence it is purely down to war mongering by bush and his cohorts

Kerry went on to add that he would be sending every American a balloon that would be ready to inflate upon his election and the only way they wouldn't be getting inflated is if a prick got involved

The mayor of Detroit welcomed the new statistics. It just goes to show that Detroit isn't as bad as it's made out to be. We only had 47 murders yesterday .With President Bush's new death penalty programme and if the rate of murders stay as they are for the next ten years, all of our citizens will either be dead or awaiting execution.

I promised on my election manifesto that I would crack crime with in ten years and I'm bang on target.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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