Washington DC: It was a slow news day in the capital, hence the newspaper headline "Greenland Icecap Melting." Never mind that the oceans have not risen substantially over the years!
A few years earlier in response to a similar headline, Professor Chicken Little petitioned the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) for money to execute Project DRAIN. The professor said "the oceans are rising we must do something!" The EPA gave the professor $2.5 billion.
Project DRAIN would drill a 20 foot diameter hole off of the Greenland coast to drain off any excess water. The EPA stipulated that a drain cover must be employed, such that whales and fish are not sucked into the hole.
The project seemed to be working until the excess water plus seawater hit the Earths hot Magma and a large Carbon layer. The water turned to excessively superheated steam and the molecules were torn apart, recombining into Carbon Dioxide (CO2). A plume of 35 billion tons of CO2 rose into the world's atmosphere, matching the 35 billion tons per year already there. The project was hastily terminated.
An environmentalist was overheard saying "it's not nice to fool with Mother Nature."