Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 24 September 2009

image for Macy Gray, The Dancing With The Stars "Bleep-Bleep" Girl Goes Bye-Bye
Macy Gray's Canton, Ohio home. It is an exact replica of The White House, down to the white statue of Oprah Winfrey.

HOLLYWOOD - Macy Gray, the official "Bleep-Bleep" girl of Dancing With The Stars has found herself "Gone-Gone."

Gray the neo soul, alternative hip hop singer became the first female to be eliminated from the ninth season of DWTS.

Her partner Jonathan Roberts said that he feels that Macy would have been a real good dancer except for the fact that she was 6 foot 3, weighed 210 pounds, didn't have an ounce of femininity, had two left feet, and oh yes, she just flat out plain and simple just did not want to be there.

She told Carrie Ann Inaba that she missed being out on the road and performing on stage in a different city every night.

Macy also confided to Inaba that she absolutely hated wearing women's underwear. She said that she really did not mind the bras too much, but the string bikini thongs were a bit too much, or actually she caught herself and said, a bit too nothing.

She said that she has used dental floss that was bigger than the thongs that the shows producers insisted that she wear.

But Macy said that the thing that really pissed her off was when the shows director Mason Kippflavor informed her that he and the two producers had decided that each time she cussed and the censor would have to add the "Bleep-Bleep" that they were going to fine her $5,000 for each violation.

An inside source said that Macy had responded by saying that she felt that she would be the first female to be eliminated seeing as how she was the tallest, the fattest, and the blackest.

Gray told her business manager that if she was not eliminated that she had planned on quitting. She said that she hated all of the three judges especially the wrinkled old white geezer that sits in the middle.

When told that his name was Len Goodman, she replied Yeah, right. That there be's the mutha (BLEEP) that I be's talkin's 'bout."

Jonathan Roberts said that he has never seen an angrier contestant than Macy. He said that once during a rehearsal he feared that she would actually bite him.

Even Tom Bergeron was surprised with her attitude. He said that as she had picked up her things from her dressing room to leave, he offered to help carry them out to her car.

Bergeron said that she pushed him out of the way and said, "Get the hell out of my way Cracker. I guarantee ya that as soon as y'all eliminates Michael (Irvin) you ain't gonna have one black bro or one black sista to be watchin' your lily white, damn little trailer park dancin' show.

In a related story. The producers of Dancing With The Stars have agreed to pay for Macy Gray to attend anger management classes. She reportedly replied that she did not need no effen producers to effen tell her that she needs to attend no mutha effen anger management classes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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