Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 24 September 2009

image for George Hamilton's Son Ashley Bounced Off Dancing With The Stars
George Hamilton's imported Norwegian dancing shoes which he lent to his son Ashley (NOTE: Each shoe is valued at $3,000).

HOLLYWOOD - Ashley Hamilton, the son of actor George Hamilton and professional wife Alana Hamilton Stewart was the first male contestant to be voted off of Dancing With The Stars.

The 34-year-old Hamilton was asked why he thought he lost. He smiled and said that he thinks it's because he does not have as great a tan as his father nor as much money.

He also said tongue-in-cheek that he heard from a very reliable source that his three ex-wives Shannen Doherty, Angie Everhart, and Potawatomi Princess Little Dancing Beaver called up all of their friends and told them not to vote for Ashley and to vote for ex-Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin.

According to the three judges, Irvin did not do good at all. In fact he did so bad that Len Goodman called him the male Macy Gray. Irvin got up in Goodman's face and accused him of being a racist because he did not like him or Macy, who just coincidentally happen to be the only two black contestants.

Englishmen Len told him to settle down his crumpet butt and get out of his face. Goodman told Irvin that truth be told he had not noticed that he was black until he (Irvin) mentioned it.

Judge Bruno Tonioli said that Irvin's dance performance would be the equivalent of him playing in a football game and dropping six catchable passes.

When Irvin heard what Bruno had said, he became quite angry and said that he heard that Bruno's fantasy is to play the center position in his underwear.

Edyta Sliwinska, Ashley's professional partner started laughing uncontrollably. Bruno asked her why she was laughing and Edyta, who hails from Russia, replied in her broken as hell English "Mikey tells it the real truth yes."

Ashley was asked by Tom Bergeron what his plans are. He looked right into the camera and said that there is no way on earth that the black football robot (Irvin) could have possibly beaten him.

He then commented that he plans to talk to the shows producers Bernadette Penderlicki and Curtis Verflippet and he will ask for a recount.

SIDENOTE: A close friend of Ashley Hamilton's, who is known only to Larry King, disclosed that if the producers do not call for a recount, then Ashley plans on hiring famed attorney F. Lee Bailey and filing a lawsuit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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