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Wednesday, 28 July 2004

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Michael Jackson today announced a new line, in his defence of allegations of child molestation. In a move that is sure to outrage religious zealots the world over, Jacko now claims that god had been giving him instructions from an early age. These orders included altering his facial features and colour, so all people would be able to relate to him.
Indeed he claims that his so called moonwalk was his interpretation of god telling him to walk a different path amongst the people.

His skin colour change was supposed to enhance his racial harmony theme; of course he insists all these claims are backed by his pop songs such as black and white

In his wildest claim to date he claims that the bible tells him to love children, and he may, he stressed, may have misheard or misconstrued this instruction from the almighty.

His defence lawyer john cockrane added that it would be wrong to punish one of gods' true prophets for a communication breakdown between heaven and the shop floor. It has been rumoured that cockrane may try and imply that the devil had a hand in Jacko's hand in the pants incident.

Prosecution attorney Brianna Givings who recently admitted that as she usually dealt with tax fraud, she was finding Jacko a whole new type of fiddling law breaker.

Givings is later reported as saying that if (Jacko) takes the line that god is to blame, we will have no option but to call god as a witness, he (god) will of course be offered immunity from prosecution if he co-operates. This immunity does not cover countries outside the USA and we are aware that Egypt would like to talk to god about a number of its citizens being killed when the red sea parted but that is not the issue here.

Charlton Heston has refused to comment

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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