Washington DC: President Obama Twittered former President Bill Clinton and former Vice President Al Gore via his Blackberry, in March 2009. He asked them to "come to the White House and to use the back door, but not to sign in." (This information was leaked by a source called "Deep Conservative" after the president agreed in September 2009 to sit down and talk with Kim Jong il, one-on-one.)
The three government executives met in the Oval Office, with VP Joe "blabbermouth" Biden conspicuously absent, out having a beer somewhere. President Obama outlined a plan to get North Korea back to the negotiating table. He asked "former VP Gore to dispatch two of his TV reporters to sneak into North Korea and get caught reporting on refugees."
The president continued "a period of time of fruitless low level government negotiations with Pyongyang to get the reporters released, tirades by Kim Jong il, and North Korean missile and A bomb tests will elapse. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will then make some provocative statements about returning the detainees to the USA, after they have been sentenced to a long prison term for espionage."
President Obama went on "there will be additional low level third party government negotiations with Pyongyang and then in August 2009 we will have the Dear Leader right where we want him to be. Former President Clinton you will then volunteer to go see Kim Jong il as a private person and retrieve the two TV reporters. I will have plausible denial, if anything goes wrong!"
Former President Clinton then said "You also want me to travel to Pyongyang, look around, size up their leadership, have a Cognac or two with Kim Jong il, assess his physical condition, determine what their military saber rattling was all about and offer a Quid Pro Quo?" President Obama said "yes, then apologize profusely, stay away from their women and report back to me ASAP when the airplane lands in the USA."