Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 22 September 2009

image for Tom DeLay Hurt On Dancing With The Stars
Tom DeLay rehearsing for his appearance on Dancing With The Stars

HOLLYWOOD - Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay hurt his foot while rehearsing for the premier of Dancing With The Stars' ninth season.

The 62-year-old DeLay said that he slipped while doing the Macarena. The cue card girl Sally Puntaluna said that he actually hurt his foot while he was doing the Hokey-Pokey, but Tom was embarrassed for people to know.

His partner Cheryl Burke said that Tom was supposed to do a (1, 2, 1, 2, 3) step and he got confused and instead he did a (1, 2, 1, 2, 7) step which caused him to lose his balance and tumble off of Cheryl's shoulders landing on his right side.

An unnamed source said that Tom actually landed on his left side, but being a die hard Republican, he could not bring himself to say the left side.

The shows physician, Dr. Dexter Izagora, 78, said that Tom will be able to dance but he recommends that he not try any double back flips or triple somersaults.

Tom was asked if he had any formal dance training and he replied that back when he was in high school he had a crush on the dance teacher Miss Amberlee Brockfellow, 27, and he would stay after school everyday and they would go over some dance steps and his teacher would pay him.

He said that his senior year he managed to make a little over $900. He said that he took the money and bought a Shetland pony.

DeLay said that he received a phone call from former President George W. Bush wishing him the best of luck and telling him to be sure and try to dance to the right as much as he possibly can.

Tom confessed that Bush asked him if he could get him an autographed photo of Cheryl Burke in a provocative pose if possible.

In other news. Word coming out of Kentucky is that the Kentucky Derby Association is seriously considering outsourcing the annual horse race event to Pakistan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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