Washington, DC/ Department of Energy Emergency Bulletin - Officials have traced the cause of a nationwide 'Blackout' of all power sources to a disgruntled Middle American who said he took drastic action against the government after every single TV program on Sunday was preempted by President Obama during a marathon political sales campaign.
In addition to appearing on every Sunday talk show, the President preempted every Professional Football Game, the Professional Bowling Association's 'Big Roll Off', the sports biggest event, the Female Pocket Pool & Billiard Championship from Las Vegas, and the long awaited cook off on the Food Channel where Abel Rodriquez and Hal A. Peno were slated to have their Chile competition in front of thousands of 'hot tamales' that had turned out to see their 2010 Nude Spoof Calendar favorites in person.
The man, who said he had just enough of Obama, relied on the talents of his 9 year old nephew who was visiting from Hong Kong, to hack into the nation's highly secretive power grid and simultaneously shut down every source of man made energy, thereby erasing, at least for a time, the President's Gigantic Carbon Footprint of gaseous emissions.
Due to the outage fans never got to see Jessica Simpson show up in Dallas with Pacman Jones, so affecting former Dallas Cowboy Quarterback Tony Romo, that he was sacked 49 1/2 times, a new record, and wind up with a quarterback rating of less than 30 in the humiliating loss.
Up in Maine, New England Patriot's fans were reduced to 'listening to their radios in the dark', while Brady's Bunch was smothered by the Jets.
Temperamental tight ends Terrill Owens of the Cowboys, and 'Ocho Cinco' of the Bengals, were so pissed off by the black out that they refused to play due to lack of media coverage. They reluctantly returned to the field when
told that the team's PR vice president would have their highlights on U Tube later in the day.
Robert Gibbs, White House Press secretary, said Obama's speeches went well despite the fact he couldn't use his teleprompters. "As usual, the President stated his case quite eloquently," said Gibbs, "and he was received warmly and enthusiastically by millions of supporters in the homes of the nonviewing audience!"
A poll taken later by Fox news, after power was restored, said that for the first time since inauguration day Obama's Popularity for Not Appearing, reached a 100% Approval Rating.
Glen Beck said the Poll was 'the one thing' that really made him happy.
The second thing, he said, was that there was no soccer matches telecast, either!