SOUTHBEND, IN (ABSNN) - The United States Society of Women with Small Hooters told reporters in this Midwest city Monday that they "fear being overlooked on Breast Appreciation Day."
Ivegotta Smallset, Chairperson of the USSWSH, told ABSNN, "We certainly want to participate in Breast Appreciation Day, but due to being somewhat chest challenged, we fear people will not see our pert, perky smalluns for the treasures they are."
J-Man, organizer of Breast Appreciation Day sent a telegram to Ms. Smallset which categorically stated: "It doesn't matter how big or small your breasts are, we promise to appreciate them to the fullest extent of the law (in New Mexico)."
Ms. Smallset seemed satisfied by J-Man's assurances and sent him three emails showing her breastesses from different angles. One photograph showed her wearing a push up bra, but J-Man's wife (who isn't too keen on Breast Appreciation Day) deleted the files before J-Man had a chance to see them.
"If I wanted my husband looking at other women's hooteroonies, I'd pick them myself," she said in a telephone interview."
"This whole silly idea of his has gotten us phone calls at three in the morning, pornographic emails out the wazoo, and our Bishop is none too happy either," she said.
Regardless of Mrs. J-man's misgivings, J-Man said that Breast Appreciation Day celebrations are planned on an international scale.
"I might even get into a Hooters myself," J-Man said before his wife jerked him back into the dog house where he's been staying recently.