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Topics: Howard Stern

Sunday, 20 September 2009

PALM BEACH, FL - Famous for having a career because of Howard Stern, conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh is once again causing controversy.

In his latest attempt at Stern-shtick, which misses the mark - again, Limbaugh calls for the segregation of black students and white students on school buses after a white student was beaten by a black student. Limbaugh accuses the fight to be racially motivated as white people are becoming more and more suppressed in 'Obama's America'. He then uses homosexuality to prove his point.

"If homosexuality being inborn is what makes it acceptable, why does racism being inborn not make racism acceptable?" the talk show host asked. "I'm sorry, I mean, this is the way my mind works. But apparently now we don't choose racism, we just are racists. We are born that way. We don't choose it. So shouldn't it be acceptable, excuse " this is according to the way the left thinks about things."

Area Americans chime in:

"I think we should segregate the funny from the unfunny," states mechanical engineer, Barry Milton of Detroit, Michigan. "What's funny is Howard Stern filling an enormous plastic head of Rush Limbaugh with OxyContin pills and having his callers call in to guess how many pills are inside that giant, plastic pumpkin head of his."

Area Howard Stern 'Super-Fan' Maryanne from Brooklyn angrily vents:

"I want to know why this man is not in prison! He trafficked thousands of prescription drugs illegally and he doctor shopped: two separate offences of 5 to 7 years in prison! If the legal system wasn't so backwards in this country, fatso should have been sent to sing-sing for at least ten to fifteen years! But, they used a 'deferred prosecution' on lard-ass which is code for 'utter bullshit'!"

Maryanne finished by saying:

"Howard, I love you! Artie, get well! All I neeeeeeeed is Howard in my life!"

Cleveland pharmacist Howard D. Stern, RPh who claims to have been 'blessed by the Almighty' to share the same name as The King of All Media acknowledges the obvious hypocrisy of politics in the media.

"The irony of it all is that this blowhard Rush Limbaugh is still on the radio. Despite this obese loud mouth being a felon, and hoping the President of the United States fails, calling him 'Hitler' and a 'Socialist', which I am positive most people who agree with Limbaugh don't even know what 'Socialism' even is, not to mention the number of racial epithets hurled at the President because he's black; he's still on the radio."

"Howard Stern was fired from six Clear Channel radio stations [Republican owned] for calling Bush 'a religious maniac'. Bill Maher was fired from ABC for questioning the War in Iraq. The Dixie Chicks were crucified for being 'ashamed of Bush'. They were called 'traitors' and 'unAmerican'. Then they were boycotted, threatened with death, and were forced to apologize for their dissent. And, don't forget the countless respected journalists who were fired for writing editorials about Heaven forbid...peace."

"It just shows you that if you're a conservative in the media, or as they like to refer to themselves: 'patriots' or 'true' Americans, you can speak and behave in any manner you choose and still have a job. You can commit illegal activity and still be a free man."

"But, if you get exposed for wrong doing or amoral behavior then you're simply a 'victim that's attacked by the liberal media'. And if anything, you get more famous; you get the cover of Time like they did with that asshole Glenn Beck, another Howard Stern wannabe."

Howard D. Stern, RPh concludes:

"Rush Limbaugh is a criminal guilty of a whole lot of things such as stealing prescription drugs, stealing Howard Stern's career and still having half of the audience Howard has on so-called 'free radio'. But, being unfunny, lacking intellectualism and originality is by far his worst crime of all."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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