Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 19 September 2009

image for Kevin Skinner Unknown Outside Of The USA
Is this him?

Kevin Skinner, recently the winner of America's Got Talent, is unknown outside of the US, it has been reported.

Skinner, 35, won the show with a gripping rendition of the Aerosmith ditty I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, after receiving more than 90% of all votes cast. Despite this, says a source, Skinner is as good as anonymous abroad.

People we asked in London said they had never heard of the fruitcake.

One of those interviewed, Reginald Steptoe, 43, told me:

"I've never heard of the fruitcake."

Fritz Apfelstrudel from Bonn in Germany laughed:

"Kevin wer? Skinner? Ist er der Quarterbacken von der Miami Dolphins? Ja?"

Even in the US itself, it seems, Kevin Skinner isn't the household name one might think he is. Only 2% of the down-and-out tramps we interviewed near New York City subway station had heard of Skinner, and out of 6 Cajun Indians we spoke to in Louisiana yesterday, none had the fantest idea who the country music singer was.

Francois Garlique, a local Indian, said:

"Kevin Skinner? Je ne sais pas. Est il un fruitcake?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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