BOSTON, Massachusetts (Spoof) - After playing the newly renovated Wurlitzer organ Ex President Clinton told Voters that they "face a stark choice between a Democratic vision of opportunity at home and cooperation abroad versus a Republican vision that is narrow and "far to the right of most Americans, but gives a free Ford explorer to each Family " at the Democratic National Convention.
"We've got to choose for president between two strong men who both love their countries: our nominee, John Kerry, who favors shared responsibility, shared opportunity and more global cooperation, and their president and their party in Congress, who favor concentrated wealth and power, leaving people to fend for themselves, and more unilateral action, albeit with a sparkly new SUV on the drive"
Clinton was the headliner on opening night of the convention at Boston's FleetCenter, where Democratic delegates are gathering this week to nominate Kerry and his vice presidential running mate, Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina.
The former president was introduced by his wife, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, who gave Kerry a ringing endorsement as "the man we need to be our president and commander in chief."
"John Kerry is a serious man for a serious job in a serious time in our country's history," the junior senator from New York said. "I am very optimistic about this election because I think I know a great leader when I see one, I am obviously such a good judge of character, now I would like to introduce my husband who will entertain you on the Wurlitzer organ"
In his set, the former president brought delegates to their feet for nine standing ovations, contrasting the policies he followed during eight years in the White House with those of his successor, President Bush, on the economy, tax cuts, crime, the budget deficit, international cooperation and security as well as a medley of Film Themes including Doctor Zhivago and Memories.
With polls showing that many Americans give Bush higher marks than Kerry on handling terrorism and national security, both Clintons pointedly sought to bolster the credentials of the Democratic ticket in those areas.
"Their opponents will tell you we should be afraid of John Kerry and John Edwards because they won't stand up to terrorists. Don't you believe it," Bill Clinton said. "Strength and wisdom are not opposing values, which reminds of a song made famous by Johnny Cash"
Although direct attacks on Bush were the exception rather than the rule, strong criticism was occasionally on display.
"What a difference these few months of extremism have made," former President Clinton said during a speech interspersed with his numbers that were designed to please the assembled crowd and inspire the watching public.
"The United States has alienated its allies, dismayed its friends and inadvertently gratified its enemies by proclaiming a confused and disturbing strategy of pre-emptive war. War, Huh, What is it good for, absolutely nothing, say it again" Added the charismatic Organ Master.
"In the world at large, we cannot lead if our leaders mislead, now LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU!!!" Clinton said, to thunderous applause.
While the Democrats congregate in Boston, Bush is keeping a low profile at his ranch in Texas, as is customary for a candidate during the opposing party's convention. However, Vice President Dick Cheney remains on the campaign trail, and Republican operatives have sent a 30-person "rapid response" team to Boston to provide reaction to what Democrats are saying at the podium.
Republican National Committee Chairman Ed Gillespie said Monday that the GOP would be releasing a video Wednesday on President Bush playing the banjo.