NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift's management agency, Wyomissing Missing Nothin' Productions, has just released word that their client has just signed on to record a country-rap Christmas album with rapper Kanye West.
Bucker Bob Tuttle, executive with Swift's management agency said that he was approached by The Reverend Al Sharpton, who practically begged him to allow Kanye West to record a holiday album with Miss Swift.
Tuttle said that he asked Sharpton if it was because Mr. West's career was traveling at a tremendously high rate of speed and heading right straight for that abstract dumpster that celebrities like to refer to as 'The Dumbass Dumpster.'
The New York reverend immediately said "Uh huh." The man of the cloth then said that he was kind of also hoping that maybe Taylor could book Kanye to be the opening act on her next tour.
Taylor's mother said that she would field that question. She smiled her pretty smile and then said that the only reason that she has agreed to let her daughter record the Christmas album with Mr. West is because he has promised her that he will take his share of the profits from the country-rap Christmas album and check himself into Atlanta's LaTaysha Jefferson Rehab Home For Those That Be Arrogantly Inclined.
Mrs. Swift then added that as for Rev. Sharpton suggestion that Kanye be Taylor's opening act she replied that not only will the hot-headed rappin' fool not be her daughter's opening act, he will never ever get within 500 yards of her because they have just obtained a restraining order against him.
She went on to say that if the no good, arrogant, conceited, self-centered piece of gelding gunk ever violates that order she will have him arrested so fast his tonsils will shoot out of his [INTIMATE BODY ORIFICE DELETED BY EDITOR] faster than two heat-seeking missiles.
SIDENOTE: Taylor's mom is one tough country gal. The woman proudly boasts that as a teenager growing up on her grandfather's farm she denutted cows, horses, pigs, sheep, goats, chickens, a bobcat, and a neighbor's wayward trespassing prized breeding bull.