Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 15 September 2009

image for America's Got Talent's Grandma Lee Says She Voting For Barbara Padilla
Grandma Lee shown without her lipstick.

HOLLYWOOD - Seventy-five-year-old Grandma Lee confided to America's Got Talent co-host Nick Cannon that after hearing Barbara Padilla sing on the shows finale she is voting for the gal from Guadalajara, Mexico.

Abuela Lee as Barbara calls her said that she had never heard anyone sing "La Bamba" as good as Padilla did.

Grandma Lee said that Barbara's version brought tears to her eyes. She said that she has heard the Richie Valens version and The Los Lobos version, but Barbara's version is by far the best.

The stand-up comedian from Florida almost did not get to perform in the finals because the director said that she was having 'female' problems.

When Grams, as Piers Morgan calls her was asked about her 'female' problems she quickly stated that it was not 'female' problems within her such as hormones, ovaries, or the golly g-whiz spot.

She laughed and said that the 'female' problem was her worthless daughter-in-law Biscuit, who lives in Jacksonville, Florida. It seems that Biscuit asked her if she could borrow her Toyota Prius to go to the store. And G.L. said that she could.

She said that come to find out Biscuit went to a store in Valdosta, Georga, about 110 miles away.

When she asked her what in the effen hell she was doing at a store 110 miles away she said that Biscuit started crying and said that she missed her exit and she did not realize it until she was two miles south of Valdosta.

Grandma Lee asked her if when she saw the "Welcome To Georgia" sign it didn't click in that she had effen left Florida? She said that Biscuit said she did not see the sign.

Grandma Lee asked her if she was talking on her cell phone and Biscuit replied that she wasn't. G.L. then asked her if she was texting and Biscuit again answered that she wasn't.

G.L. then asked asked, "Okay so tell me you little cracker barrel twit what on earth were you doing?" And Biscuit replied that she was just painting her toenails.

The elder Floridian then went ballistic and she proceeded to rattle off a whole bunch of words which were all 'bleeped' out.

SIDENOTE: Grandma Lee confided to Sharon Osbourne that she wants to go to her doctor and get a little piece of her small intestine removed and re-attached to her tongue. When asked why in the world she would want to do that she answered so that she can really get down and dirty and really start talking some sh*t.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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