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Monday, 14 September 2009

image for In-Store Porn Leads To Arrest!

"Those two idiots apparently thought they were pulling a fast one," said Sgt. Marvin Linksky of the Fort Smith, Texas Police Department. "I hope they enjoyed their show."

John Neighbors and Wade Hardcock, a ***Mart store employee, allegedly removed a promotional DVD from a DVD player built into a display in the furniture aisle at the ***Mart, address being withhold at present, at about 9:30 p.m. September 9th, to see a porn movie someone had loaned them.

What they didn't realize was that the DVD player was still connected to ten other televisions all throughout the big store.

"The pornographic DVD was visible to the general public as they were shopping," according to a police spokesman. "Of course, many either stopped to see what in the heck was going on, while others herded their kids out and tried to over-talk the 'My what a huge penis!'-type talk!"

Eventually, a customer notified the night manager and the DVD was removed from the player after somebody tipped off Hardcock about what was going on, again according to the police spokesman.

However, authorities released the store surveillance video to KFSM Channel 5 to air on the Crime Stoppers segment on the 11 p.m. newscast.

Within fifteen minutes of the broadcast, someone called the Crime Stoppers number so they might get a reward, with the identity of the two suspects.

Crime Stoppers is a cooperative effort between law enforcement and the local TV station.

More details will be released later as there are, at present, over 500 parents suing the store chain because they claim their children have "suffered an emotional injury to their innocence."

"According to in-store cameras, only five couples rushed their kids out", stated the store manager. "We have also received over 100 calls about when we plan our next telecast."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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