Print this

Monday, 14 September 2009

image for Cindy Crawford's Sex Advice a Huge Hit on Capitol Hill
The House Chamber - in need of chambermaids?

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Cindy Crawford's announcement that she has a recipe to keep husbands from cheating on their wives has created quite a buzz in Washington, D.C., said a source.

The supermodel claimed that hiring a housekeeper "give[s] overworked wives more time to keep their partners satisfied."

The catwalk queen admitted that "it takes a lot to keep the passion in a relationship alive," and insisted that finding another woman to take care of household chores allows the wife more time to "satisfy her husband's carnal desires."

She added, "It's probably a lot less expensive to hire a housekeeper for your wife - and she might want to have sex with you more - instead of paying a prostitute, because if you can afford a prostitute, you can afford a housekeeper."

Many members of Congress on both sides of the aisle praised the supermodel's line of reasoning, adding that hiring a housekeeper "gives overworked husbands more potential partners to keep themselves satisfied."

They admitted that Cindy had a point about it taking a lot to keep the passion alive when you're in a relationship, and said that finding another woman who will not only take care of household chores, but give you a little something extra on the side, can be just the spark you need.

Congressional members praised Cindy's skillful accounting abilities, demonstrated by her careful cost-benefit analysis concerning the employment of housekeepers versus prostitutes, and indicated they wanted to get the iconic fashion figure into a new position - as Secretary of Congress.

Cindy reportedly said, "Sorry, guys, but I've got way too much going for me to fetch coffee for a bunch of adulterous losers."

Make The San Francisco Onion's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 plus 5?

8 21 6 14

Go to top