Written by Madame Bitters
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Monday, 14 September 2009

image for New Restaurant, 'Kentucky Fried Panda' Opens Amidst PETA Protests!
Endangered Species or Dinner?

Sacramento, CA- The controversial new fast food eatery, Kentucky Fried Panda, had it's Grand Opening this afternoon despite PETA and other environmental groups protests.

Although this new fast food restaurant looks like any other of its kind, it's the menu in this eatery that's causing the uproar. Every menu item at Kentucky Fried Panda features one of the world's most endangered species...pandas.

The purveyor of Kentucky Fried Panda, Confuscious Wong-Dong was anxious to describe the menu to us in more detail. In fact, we couldn't stop him. No matter how hard we tried.

"Our panda seasoned with mix of 23 herbs and spices. We fry panda, douse panda in soy sauce and then serve panda to customer. Tasty!

"We have panda-burger where we put regular fried panda on bread with ketchup. Tasty!

"We have sweet-sour fried panda soup, panda-rolls, fried panda wedges and lots more. Tasty!"

When asked if he had anything 'panda-free' on the menu, Mr. Wong-Dong shook his head vehemently. "No. Everything have panda. Everything. Even soda have panda. Tasty!"

Understandably, PETA is very unhappy about the opening of Kentucky Fried Panda. "This is a nightmare. I can't believe this is even happening," said PETA member Forrest Brooks.

"I mean, there are only, like, 13 pandas left on Earth. Where the hell is he getting them from?"

PETA and other unwashed hippie types are planning protests like sit-ins, picketing and possible firebombings until KFP is shut down and Mr. Wong-Dong is arrested.

A Panda Plate (a helping of fried panda, sweet and sour panda soup and a panda roll- drink not included) costs 149.99+ tax. Tasty!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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