Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 September 2009

image for Serena Williams To Star In "The LeBron James Story"
The Natchez State University Gym which will double as The Quicken Loans Arena, home of The Cleveland Cavaliers.

HOLLYWOOD - Cleveland Cavalier Super Star LeBron James' manager, Ravi Skittles has just confirmed that the rumors that had been swirling around basketball locker rooms, tennis courts, and Oprah Winfrey's 81-room Chicago mansion are in fact true.

Tennis great Serena Williams will be appearing in the new blockbuster movie entitled, The Lebron James Story.

In what is being considered by many to be an extremely out-of-the-ordinary casting decision, Miss Williams will be portraying the Cleveland Cavalier super star.

Lebron was asked how he felt about having a woman portray him in a motion picture. James just shrugged his shoulders and replied that at least she's black and both him and her do have the same size thighs.

James was asked what he really thought about the opposite sex gender casting. He just grinned and remarked that he personally wanted Sidney Poitier to portray him, but the film's director Intaglio Enricolini and the film's producer Duffy Bayou-Gauche said that at the age of 82, Mr. Poitier was just a little bit too long in the tooth to be portraying a man who is only 24.

Enricolini was quick to point out that there is no question that Poitier is one of the world's greatest actors, but that it's just a matter of way, way too many birthday candles on the big ass birthday cake.

Bayou-Gauche said that the film will be based on the award-winning book by Espanola Beergrass entitled, The King James Basketball Version.

LeBron did say that he had been told that his new Cleveland teammate Shaquille O'Neal will be portrayed in the movie by Queen Latifah, who will have to wear six inch inserts in her basketball shoes, as well as in her flip flops.

Latifah will also have to learn how to speak slow as hell as well as in a barely audible and understandable tone. The Queen laughed and added, "And I will also have to learn how to miss making my free throws."

The six foot actress said blushingly that the director has informed her that in the interest of accuracy and realism she will also have to wear an Idaho potato in her basketball shorts.

The movie will be shot entirely on location in Natchez, Mississippi, which actually resembles Cleveland a whole lot more than even Cleveland resembles Cleveland.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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