Los Angeles, CA-- Filmmaker Micheal Moore was voted the ugliest man in the world in a recent non-existent online poll. President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela was voted second. Congressman Henry Waxman (Dem, Calif) held third place by a nose. Others in the Top Ten included film-critic Roger Ebert, Congressman Barney Frank and several spoof writers.
Michael Moore easily won first place with almost 1 billion votes. The short, fat, smelly pig-faced ogre was also voted the least likely to get laid by either a male or a female.
Prizes for the Top Ten winners were very generous. Mr. Moore won $1 million of plastic surgery, although it won't even begin to help him. President Chavez won 100 gallons of battery acid to help fix his incredibly deep acne scars. Henry Waxman was given a gun with one bullet and the complete rules to playing Russian Roulette.
A new non-existent poll for the world's ugliest woman will start next week. Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, Rosie O'Donnell and photographer Annie Leibowitz are all neck and neck for first place.