This reporter was with Penis Minus Wilson (Not his real name), having a few beers at a local bar recently and were listening to one bragging tale after another and, as usual, Penis was reluctant to say much, simply listen.
"Well, I bet Penis here has a lot to tell about that long tail of his", stated Loud Jack, to the roar of everyone at the bar.
"Oh leave Wilson alone. He's a happily married man now", stated another. "Though I wonder if the Missus is happy? Har! Har! Har!", roared another.
"Well", responded Wilson, "I could tell you about my being rather small saved my manhood back when I was only 13-years-old, where my friend Phil -who now calls himself Phyllis -lost his!"
Encouraged to tell the tale, Penis began his story.
Apparently, Penis and his friend Phil had found some old Playguy Magazines in the friend' garage one day and they were pretty aroused when Phil spotted an old vacuum cleaner in the back of the garage, all covered up and close to where the magazines were hid.
"Let's put our things in that", stated the friend. "You go first, Wilson!"
"I don't know", I told him.
"Go ahead" he urged me on,"and so I did and it was over in about thirty seconds and my legs gave way!"
"Then he began yelling, "My Turn! My Turn!"
"But when Phyllis, Phil back then, tried it out there was an awful noise and a horrible scream and he fell bleeding on the floor of that old garage. I called an ambulance and he didn't bleed to death but they couldn't save his, you know, dohickey."
After that, everyone stood bug-eyed around the bar, including myself, not any of us saying a word as we tried to nonchalantly reach down and make sure we were all there.
"You see", continued Penis, "Those old vac cleaners actually had a blade like a fan inside them which helped pull in the dirt. We didn't know that."
Still, no one said a word but each of us left the bar for home, one by one, all of us in a deep study.