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Sunday, 13 September 2009

image for Pamela Anderson PETA Spread Blows Bill O'Reilly's Gasket
This man is wearing entirely too much leather, according to Pam Anderson.

SPIN CITY, USA - FOXXX News shouting head Bill O'Reilly's face was looking splotchier than ever today when the topic turned to Pamela Anderson's new ads for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).

The actress-turned-animal-rights-activist recently shot a series of provocative spots for the PETA campaign entitled "Cruelty Doesn't Fly' featuring Anderson as a scantily-clad airport security guard who strip-searches passengers for animal skins, leather and fur.

O'Reilly fumed, calling the images "disturbing," though they are quite tame compared to PETA images documenting the conditions in slaughterhouses.

"I don't think it's that provocative," said Anderson of the spots. "They showed a couple of bare butts. It's funny and light-hearted, and draws attention to something that's really ugly and abusive. It's a really important message mixed with something that's sexy and easy to digest."

Some might say the same about FOXXX News, with their long-running habit of supplementing daily conservative spin with such easily digestible tidbits as stories on stripper poles, Kiran Chetry's thong, Kiran Chetry on a pogo stick, Laurie Dhue kissing Rebecca Gomez, Robin Meade being flirted with by other female correspondents, and Ann Coulter flashing her crotch at hosts... okay, maybe the last one was not so easily digestible.

Nevertheless, O'Reilly's guest Gretchen Carlson also condemned the PETA spots, and said, "Thank God somebody had a brain in their head to screen this first of all and say, hey, yes, there may be kids running around seeing it."

It is unclear if Carlson has seen Miley Cyrus' Tween Choice performance involving short-shorts, black leather boots, and a pole, but clearly she would have no problem with the leather boots.

Pam Anderson would. Talking about her involvement with PETA, she said, "When I was on Baywatch, running up and down the beach in slow motion, I asked myself, 'Why am I always doing all these stupid interviews and talking about my boobs?' I figured there had to be a way to talk about something more important."

She was right, and it's a lucky thing, too, because now she's given Bill O'Reilly and company something important to talk about.

Or at least complain about.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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