Written by Madame Bitters
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Saturday, 12 September 2009

image for Michael Jackson's Plastic Surgeon Gives 2-for1 Breast Implants in Honor of National Breast Apprecation Day!
Some of the Doc's best work.... but was it while he was at Mattel?

Top Secret Mattel Headquarters: It was announced earlier today that Michael Jackson's former plastic surgeon will be running a 'Buy One, Get One Free' breast enhancement special in honor of the very first Natonal Breast Appreciation Day.

Dr. Steven M. Hofflein, who suddenly found himself out of work since Jackson's death, is currently the Head of Production for the toy giant, Mattel. But he's looking to get back into the plastic surgery business.

"My career at Mattel was profitable for both the company and myself- it was a real learning experience for me. However, I feel it's time for me to return to my original passion- plastic surgery.

"National Breast Appreciation Day is a wonderful opportunity to showcase my surgical abilities and put into practice some of the things I learned while working at Mattel," Dr. Hoffelein continued.

When asked how he could afford to do the Buy One, Get One Free breast implant promotion, the good doctor just shrugged and said,

"I'll be using 2 'lefties'"

The 2-for-1 deal will start the week before National Breast Appreciation Day and end October 1.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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