Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Art

Saturday, 12 September 2009

image for Andy Warhol Art Collection Dumped In Skip
A picture of a man dumping a Warhol piece

Police in Los Angeles say they have filed a report that a multi-million dollar Andy Warhol art collection has been found dumped in a skip in the city.

A old tramp who was sleeping in the skip received a rude awakening yesterday by someone dumping the priceless collection on his head.

Among the discovered works are 10 pieces created by Warhol in the late 1970s depicting famous athletes, including Muhammad Ali and Bart Simpson.

They were taken from the house of businessman Richard Weisman. A portrait of Mr Weisman was also stolen, but, as he is a relative nobody, who cares about him?

A $1m reward had been offered for information leading to their recovery after the artworks - each one 40 inches (101 cm) square - had been taken on the 2 or 3 September.

The full list of paintings recovered is:

Muhammad Ali
Bart Simpson
Chris Evert
Tom Seaver (who?)
Jack Nicklaus
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Pele
Willie Shoemaker (the famous cobbler)
Dorothy Hamill (eh?)
Rod Gilbert (who?)

Their disappearance was discovered by a domestic employee, who found the dining room walls bare and alerted the police.

Police spokesman Rod Gilbert told us:

"Warhol was a bit before my time. He used to throw paint at canvas and hope for the best. Or was that Jackson Pollack? Or was it my nephew? You never know with art - it could have been done by anyone at all!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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