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Topics: Poo, Hillbillies

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

image for Father, Daughter Win Explosive Diarrhea Contests
"Guess It Just Runs In The Jeans!"

Blackwater Mountain, Tennessee - When it come to having explosive diarrhea, John J. Johnson, JJ to his friends, and daughter Jean J. Johnson are quite a team. John set a new distance record and Jean won first place at the Corn Hole & Washer Pitching Fair in Blackwater Mountain.

On Saturday morning, John J. went inside the "covering" to take aim, bending forward at just the right angle so that the crap would fly high but not too high so it would get the distance and once it was measured for distance, it was a record-breaking ten feet, seven inches! That broke the old record by six inches which hadn't happened since 1971!

Then later in the evening during the women and girl's contests, always held after dark in case the "covering" should be knocked over as it had when 400-pound Eula Bell Warfort almost burst a gut in 1994, Jean J stepped inside and let her go!

Wow! No one had expected the skinny teenager to blow away the competition butt that's what she done done!

With a tennis player's grunt, she blew eight feet, three inches. This wasn't a record butt it was good enough for first place on this magic night.

Both father and daughter, teary-eyed and taking off their green John Dear caps, stood shoulder to shoulder to recieve the corn garland of all-colored corn.

At the U.S. Open, a 17-year-old Melanie Oudin may have knocked off the champ in women's tennis, but no one could have been more proud of their daughter than one John J Johnson, this past Saturday night.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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