Written by ESB
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Wednesday, 9 September 2009

image for Schwarzenegger Challenges Mother Nature To A Fight
Schwarzenegger pledges to "kick ass"

Sacramento, CA - California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has had enough. "Wildfires, earthquakes, drought, floods, swine flu, Michael Jackson - no more! Mother Nature must be terminated."

Schwarzenegger's remarks come as the state recovers from some of the largest wildfires in its history. The deadly fires have destroyed thousands of acres and left countless people homeless.

Residents aren't the only ones feeling the pinch. California is in the midst of a financial crisis. Budget cuts forced the governor to recall hundreds of firefighters from the front lines. "These fires are girly," said Schwarzenegger. He added, "I will scoop the flames up myself and drop them in the ocean."

The governor ultimately decided against his plan - although he did successfully put out a small fire by squeezing it between his bicep. Instead Schwarzenegger is going straight to the source. "Mother nature will pay. I will grab her puny ankles and shake her until money falls out." At that moment Schwarzenegger turned to a camera and said, "now that's change we can believe in."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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