Propped up on pillows in a sea of white linens on a California King in the Mud Flat Suite of the a Wasilla hotel, Todd and Sarah Palin spoke to reporters in a press conference this morning.
"We're holding a 'bed-in'", Mrs. Palin said, elbowing Todd, who had fallen asleep. "We are having a second honeymoon to show the world how strong our marriage is and also so they can see that I wear granny nighties, not jammies, like Toddles here. Those are fella clothes - Ewww!" referencing the recent Vanity Fair article wherein her erstwhile son-in-law-to-be, Levi Johnston, describes her wearing "her two-piece pajama set from Wal-Mart - she had all the colors" while she watched "house shows and wedding shows on TV".
Todd, sporting round, wire-rimmed John Lennon style glasses and white pajamas, and Sarah, in a white granny nightgown with her hair loose and flowing, intend to stay there for a week or "until that little fucker takes it all back" said Mrs. Palin. If necessary, they'll hold another week-long bed-in in Juneau, home of the Alaskan Brewing Company, whose crushed cans of Alaskan Amber are piled on Todd's nightstand.
Issues of "Star" and "National Enquirer" magazine were observed on Mrs. Palin's nightstand, peeking out from under a yet unread copy of "The American Conservative".
When asked the whereabouts of little Trig, Mr. Palin burped, still groggy from being elbowed awake. Mrs. Palin answered cheerily that Bristol is babysitting her son Tripp, as well as the rest of the Palin children, at the local Motel 6.
A call to the "two doubles" room, registered under the name Alex Rodriguez, was answered by Willow, who said that her sister Bristol could not come to the phone because she was "talking all sexy on her cell to her baby daddy". Loud moose calls, babies crying and a blaring TV playing the movie "Role Models" in the background drowned the rest of her statement out.