Right Wing Supporters were desperate to get their point across as they hid outside the
White House waiting for Van Jones.
Startled at their sudden appearance, Van Jones says suprise was what kept him from fighting back, as he was viscously smeared with a full gift basket of jellies that a right winger had been harboring since last Christmas.
We managed to catch one of the 'alleged' perpetrators, as he was running across the White House lawn, dodging search lamps, and jumping the moat. Between gasping breaths he tried to explain, "We didn't mean to hurt him none, but, since he came up with his diabolical plan to take over the world, they had hoped that sweetening him up some, would help convince him to change his political ideals.
During our interview with Mr. Jones he told us that due to the Republicans carelessness, that he had picked up some nasty grass stains in addition to the sticky jelly. He also further alledged, "Those sneaks pushed their car up the driveway with the lights off just so Secret Service wouldn't see 'em. One of their cars was leaking oil which he claims he later tracked all over his Mother's white carpet.
Right wingers just don't know how to play fair, Jones elaborated. He was adamant as he explained his plans to pack up his toys and clothes, and go home in the morning before breakfast. He also added that they had best be careful as his Mama wouldn't be happy with his latest laundry list of problems, and ya better not talk about her. He was later seen being chased by a bear due to the honey bee shortage and the sticky ammo.
Although we tried to reach President Obama for a comment, we ended up talking to Mr. Gibbs, who told us,that although the President was sorry to see his friend go, he understood his need for some quiet reflection, a shower, clean, warm jammies, and a cup of hot cocoa, while he contemplates his next exciting career move.