NEW YORK CITY - Britney Spears who is currently on her world-wide Circus Tour has just announced in Rolling Stone Magazine that she has hired Paula Abdul and Tatiana Del Toro to be her new backup singers.
Spears said that she has spoken to both women and both are overjoyed and thrilled to be a part of Britney's team.
Paula Abdul replied that it will be an honor for her to sing on the same stage with one of the greatest blonde singers in the history of great blonde singers. She then added, "Besides, I'm sure everyone knows by now that I am kind of unemployed."
Meanwhile Tatiana Del Toro was crying so much that all she could manage to say was "Eeeeeeee! and Ayyyyyyy!"
Her manager who is also her dentist, Dr. Oratorio Chinchalero, 74, said that Tatsy is very happy and very excited to be singing beside Paula Abdullah and behind Britney Spearmint. [EDITOR'S NOTE: Please note that Dr. Chinchalero is a dentist and he knows a lot about dental floss, incisors, and dental dams, but hardly nothing about singers, microphones, and stage sweat.]
Britney was asked what happened between her and her two original backup singers. She replied that both 'ingrates' had just decided to pursue a record deal on their own. She also stated, off the record, that the two beeachs had tried to hit her up for more money.
Britney said that she was really hurt because she was already paying them $17 an hour plus all of the bottled water they could drink, not to mention M&M's, Nutter Butter Cookies, and Corona Light Beer.
The two singers Shayla Sherlockley and Chandelle Casablanca plan to sign with Virginia Records and perform as 'The Spearettes,' a name which was picked out for them by Ms. Spears herself. [EDITOR'S NOTE: Actually Britney legally sold them the name for $145.]
When Shayla was asked her reason for leaving the Britney Spears team she said that her and Chandelle had asked her for a raise but Spears refused to give it to them.
Shayla said, "Hell we gets paid $17 an hour. Britney's Circus Concert last two hours, so that means that Chandy and I gets paid $34 a night. Now you goes and multiplies that times 7 (days) and you will sees that Chandy and I each be gettin', what?...$207.45 a week. Hell that won't even pay for my frickin' frackin' hair relaxer or Chandy's damn lip gloss."
When Spears was told about Shayla's remarks she replied that Miss Sherlockley and Miss Casablanca were two very unappreciative young (blanks) who she found working as waitresses at a Brooklyn IHOP.
She said she took them under her wing and bought them things like halter tops, Daisy Duke short shorts, toothpaste, underwear, and wine.
She even paid $78.95 to have Chandelle's 'I Loves Rodell A Bunches of A Lot' tattoo removed from her left butterbag. Rodell was her ex-husband who ended up running off with Beyonce's Brazialian bikini waxer Fifalina Muchogusto
Britney said that as far as Shayla goes, she looked upon her as her own sister, except of course for the fact that she was a lot shorter, fatter, and black.
Spears said that she told both girls that she wishes them the best. In the meantime she is happy to have Paula (Abdul) and Tatsy (Del Toro) as her new backup singers.
When asked what she was paying her two new backup singer, Britney refused to say, stating that it was strictly a business matter and that it was no ones darn business what she pays her people.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Larry King, who has some fantastic informational sources, stated that Britney Spears will be paying Paula Abdul $18 an hour and she will be paying Tatiana $11 an hour. Both women will also get all the free bottled water they want plus all the M&M's they want, but not Nutter Butter Cookies or Corona Light Beer]