WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama's chief executive senior environmental adviser Vanitell Jones has turned in his resignation.
Jones, who goes by Basketball Jones, reportedly wanted more money than what the Obama administration was paying him.
He said on the Larry King Show that he was only making 90 percent of what the chief executive senior environmental adviser before him was making.
King asked Jones who his predecessor was. And Jones answered that it was Hayley McUppermall, who just happens to be Scottish, Irish, English, and Swedish.
Jones then added that on top of that Hayley is a female.
King asked Jones if he might maybe be just a little bit on the prejudice side. Jones shot back that he was not the least bit prejudice. He noted that he had eaten hamburgers with Vice-President Joe Biden on several occasions.
He pointed out that he used to like to watch the 'all-white' Friends TV sit-com show. He also added that one of his cousin's ex-wives was a blonde, blue-eyed white woman from Missoula, Montana.
Jones hesitated but he confessed to Larry that during his senior year in high school he had dated the school's art teacher who was also white.
King asked if it was a female.
"Of course it was a female you dumb stupid honkey. What the hell are you trying to imply Mr. Potato Head?"
Jones told King that he had better go on to a commercial because as upset as he was at the moment he was afraid that he might just reach over the desk and grab him a non-black TV host and shake him like a bag of Shake 'n Bake Original Seasoned Chicken Coating Mix.
By now Jones was so angry that he had literally turned red...not purple, or taupe, or burgundy, or maroon, but red; firebrick red.
Larry sensed that Jones was getting more agitated with each second and he immediately said that they would be right back with his guest, the controversially troubled Vanitell "Basketball" Jones.
When they returned from the commercial. Jones' seat was empty. Larry was beet red and he had a band-aid over his left eyebrow, and a band-aid on his nose. His ever-present suspenders were draped over his ears and he was also wearing a 16 ounce sirloin steak over his right eye.
Larry told the viewers that Mr. Jones had to leave in a hurry due to a prior commitment which the temperm*ntal shithe*d had completely forgotten about.
In a national news update. The Chupacabra creature which was captured in Texas has been tested for the swine flu. Dr. Jimmy Earl "Bubba" Bubbason, the veterinarian who conducted the tests at the prestigious Trail Drive Ramrod Bovine Clinic in Austin reported that tests conclusively proved that "Chupi" does not have the swine flu.
Dr. Bubbason did state that the ugly-as-shit creature does however have very small minute traces of the bubonic plague. The doctor said that as of right now, it is really no cause for alarm.
He added that the Wine House-looking sumbitch is being treated with a specially prepared mixture of homogenized milk, fried okra, diet root beer, cilantro, tequila extract, Heinz Ketchup, ground up Cocoa Krispies, and WD-40.