Written by Trebor Chram
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Topics: Sarah Palin

Saturday, 5 September 2009

image for WTF Upset About Sarah Palin Claiming Roseanne's Crown

The WTF (White Trash Federation) is very upset that Sarah Palin has laid claim to being the new Queen of the White Trash, stealing the crown from Roseanne Barr.

The WTF feels that Sarah Palin put her "almost son-in-law" Levi Johnson up to saying all the white trash attributes about the former Alaska governor in his interview in the next issue of Vanity Fair.

Levi says that she probably can't even shoot a gun. Even if she could and even if she owns a rifle, it does not qualify her as "white trash" says the WTF president, Elmer.

"The only way Sarah would qualify is if she felt that fully automatic weaponry is absolutely required when planning an assault on moose." said Elmer.

She also does not qualify because Levi mentions that she likes to spend her day soaking in a tub, eating bon-bons and watching TV. White trash don't take baths. Her not doing laundry and not cooking for her kids may come close, but it's too little to make a difference.

If Sarah had and extra 100 pounds on her and at least three tattoos and she painted her face and body before going to her children's hockey games, she might come close to qualifying. But Levi says that she doesn't even attend the games.

Elmer also mentions that Sarah has never been to a NASCAR race and does not follow monster truck rallies. The only way she comes close to being trash is because she's white (which is mandatory) and she talks funny.

"When the World Wrestling Federation changed their name to World Wrestling Entertainment, did Sarah Palin have to get a tattoo altered? I doubt it." Said Elmer.

Elmer further asked, "Does her home have wheels under it? No? Then she doesn't qualify."

Sarah came close when she once pronounced the word "nuclear" with an extra "U" in between the "C" and the "L", like George Bush used to say. But that's still not enough to steal the crown from Roseanne.

We all know that "evolution" is a swear word in Sara's home, but that's still not enough.

If Sarah Palin does not immediately give up the White Trash crown, the WTF members will swoop down on Wasilla in their monster trucks and trash Todd's snowmobiles.

Disclaimer: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being 'white trash' and we are sorry if we have offended anyone who meets the requirements and has no intention of ever changing, or who objects in general to being referred to as white trash in the first place.

Please put the gun down.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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