Written by ESB
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Friday, 4 September 2009

image for Chicken Little Pissed At Glenn Beck
Little thinks Beck should "pluck off."

Louisville, KY - Freaking people out used to be her domain. "The irrational, angry mob always came to me," said Chicken Little. "Now they've got internet and that G**damn Glenn Beck. No one can hear my clucking over his temper tantrums."

Little says her monopoly over doomsday has dwindled in recent years. Still, she insists, people were interested in her mad ravings until Beck started working for the Fox News Channel.

Little equates Beck to an animal at the zoo that throws its own feces. "People love train wrecks and this guy is way off the tracks. I mean he doesn't even have evidence to back up his claims - I at least had an acorn."

The feud between Little and Beck appears to be worsening. Last week Beck accused Little of being part of a vast government conspiracy to make the sky fall.

Side Note: Glenn Beck Halloween masks are being pulled from store shelves. The recall comes after a man in Houston gave himself a heart attack. The man put on the mask then looked into a mirror. In his own words, "it scared the s**t out of me." This is the fifth such incident since the masks went on sale.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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