Los Angeles, CA - As hellfire engulfed much of Hollywood and destroyed over 10 billion dollars' worth of movie lots and Asian massage parlors, officials investigating the cause of the blaze have determined the cause: a firefly.
Living up to its name, one of the insects spontaneously combusted near a pile of dry leaves, starting the fire which has forced thousands of celebrities out of their homes and into their other homes.
While the number of people killed an injured in the inferno may never be known because officials are not required to keep track, our sources have confirmed that 23 Hummers and 15 Porsches have been melted down to their frames. A Lamborghini was reported damaged, but is expected to be fully drivable once suitable repairs have been made.
Obama has offered government aid to replace the totalled cars.