Written by Sweetromance
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Friday, 4 September 2009

Much like the Teaparty Express, the leftwing cannibals are showing up to fight for their cause. However, it would appear that they intend to get a great deal more physical than their rightwing counterparts.

Their slogan: Bring about peace, eat a protester! Other slogans included help the economy, eat an employee.

We got lucky and managed to interview one of the participants who was between courses, on the condition that he remain anonymous. When asked why he felt this particular cause was so important he reponded. "With the easy lifestyle of rightwingers, they are simply more tender and juicy than other possible choices." He also added, and I quote, "Everyone should be aware by now how rightwing flatulence is destroying the ozone, and be willing to do their part to help the earth."

Online cooking sites all over the internet have been alerted to look for any unusual recipes. Among the list of all time favorites they were warned to look out for, was Best Blowhard Stu, and Rack of Republican. They were also asked to beware of that ever popular favorite, finger fondue, and onion roasted ovaries. Even if they don't run into those recipes, they have still been asked to carefully scrutinize all recipes calling for ladyfingers...or anyone elses fingers. Any recipe calling for rump roast must include a disclaimer explaining whose rump is to be roasted. The fear being that some seemingly benign recipes could incite riots, as people attempt to harvest ingredients to make these dishes at home.

On a much lighter note, leftwingers are happy to point at how their economic plan has indeed created many new jobs. Though they admit that most of that growth has been in the Health And Human sector, like welfare clerks, and the unemployment and employment offices, they also point to the fact that their POTUS has hired "more czars than the Romanovs," who ruled Russia for three centuries. Many of these people were either out of work entrepreneurs or involved in controversial issues prior to their new jobs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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