MINNEAPOLIS - Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Lorenzo Favre (pronounced Farve) has agreed to enter into an anger management program.
The program called 'Getting Pissed Off Can Be A Real Pisser' meets once a week on Sunday afternoons at a downtown Minneapolis Chick fil-A Restaurant.
One of the four Waffle brothers, owners of the Minnesota Vikings, Ziggy Waffle said that he insisted that Mr. Favre attend the classes after watching the playback of the illegal crackback block that Favre threw on Houston Texans safety Eugene Wilson.
Another owner, Ziggy's brother Marlin said that he spoke with Wilson last night and that he is resting comfortably in room 199345 at Houston's Our Lady of The Last Down Hospital.
A third brother Lenny Waffle reportedly asked Wilson if he needed anything and Wilson replied that he needed a fully loaded Cadillac Escalade, a Rolex Watch, and season tickets to the Minnesota Timberwolves basketball games.
Waffle brother number four Jose said that the fully loaded car, the watch, and the tickets were on their way. He said that Wilson would just have to pay tax, title, and license on the fully loaded Cadillac Escalade.
Wilson told Jose Waffle that he could come over to his hospital room and that he would be more than happy to sign the injury release waver form relieving his football team from all liability caused by his employee's careless, reckless, and scoreless action.
The arresting officers Texas Rangers Rufus Cutshaw and Dusty Youngwood said that they would be turning over all of their notes, records, charcoal sketches, clay figurines, and photographs in the case to the Waffle family.
They further stated that as far as they were concerned the Favre-Wilson incident never happened and that one Mr. Eugene Wilson had just accidentally tripped over a cheerleader's pom-pom [EDITOR'S NOTE: The rah rah rah type of cheerleader's pom-pom and not the ooh la la type of cheerleader's pom-pom.]
Ziggy Waffle asked if it would really be as easy as all that. Cutshaw laughed, took a puff of his Garcia Y Vega Cigar and reminded him that this was Texas.
He commented that in Texas, the organization known as The Texas Rangers [EDITOR'S NOTE: Not to be confused with the Major League Baseball Texas Rangers.] pretty much does whatever the friggin' heckatosis it wants to do.
He then pointed out, that of course, that was just as long as the Texas Rangers meet certain established rules, regulations, criteria, and the quintessential "Eight 'P's Texas Ranger Guideline" which consists of; policies, principles, procedures, practices, perceptions, patterns, prescripts, and protocol.
SIDENOTE: There is no sidenote. Page 179, paragraph 4, sentence 3 of The Official Texas Rangers Manual and/or Handbook clearly states thusly:
In any established journalistic writings such as parodies, satires, lampoons, pasquinades, or spoofs the insertion of a closing sidenote is expressly forbidden even if given permission from Major League Baseball. Violators will have their monitors towed away. Revised 04/01/09.