HOUSTON - Texas Rangers Rufus Cutshaw and Dusty Youngwood took Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre into custody immediately following the Vikings 17 to 10 victory over the Houston Texans on Monday Night Football.
Cutshaw said that a complaint had been filed by Texans coach Gary Kubiak.
Kubiak said that Minnesota had the ball in the third quarter when Brett Favre threw an illegal crackback block on Texans safety Eugene Wilson knocking him down to the ground.
The Houston coach said that those types of dirty blocks can be career ending. Wilson reportedly told him that after the game his legs were still feeling numb as hell.
Houston cheerleader Staci Lippinlapper said that she was cheering on the sidelines when all of a sudden she looked up and saw Burt Farkel [EDITOR'S NOTE: Staci meant to say Brett Favre] running up to Eugene and all of a sudden Farkel tackled Eugene hitting him hard in the front between his knees and his you-know-what.
Staci pointed out that she is a nice girl and that she really didn't want to have to say the word penis or one of the many other words for it.
The team physician Dr. Ira "Rubber Glove" Rubinski interviewed Wilson. And Wilson told him "Doc Rubber, I gots me some pain in boaf my legs. Kinda likes when I was 12, and our neighbor's motherfrackin' St. Bernard latched on to my motherfrackin' leg and the big fat motherfracker would not turns it loose until my cousin Udell Tyrone hit the sumbitchin' sumbitch with the butt of his AK-47.
Cousin Udell Tyrone wanted to shoot the motherfrackin' piece-of-shit but you know I hollered outs to him not to shoot because he could've ended up shooting the hell out of my motherfrackin' ass!"
Rangers Cutshaw and Youngwood read Mr. Favre his rights and handcuffed him right there on the sideline. Favre asked Cutshaw if he could let him go to the locker room and take a shower cause he kinda had that 'landfill dump' smell to him.
Cutshaw quickly agreed and he walked him over to the locker room. Farve started showering and he dropped the bar of soap. He tried to pick it up but he couldn't because of the handcuffs.
He asked Cutshaw if he would mind picking it up for him. Cutshaw looked at the bar of soap laying right underneath him and then at Favre and he said nope.
Favre then asked Ranger Youngwood if he would bend down and hand him the bar of soap. Youngwood looked at Favre and then at the bar of soap and he to answered nope.
Cutshaw then called coach Kubiak over and Favre asked him if he would mind handing him the bar of soap which was on the shower stall floor right below his crotch region.
Kubiak looked at the bar of soap and then up at Favre's wieneriticus (tallywagger) and Kubiak said not only nope, but hell nope.
Favre growing desperate then hollered out at a reporter for The Houston Gazette Confirmer and asked him if he would please bend down and hand him the bar of soap.
The reporter looked at where the soap was and said, "Hey dude that's the oldest trick in the book. I was born at night, but not last night. And besides this is Houston this ain't San Franfriggincisco bitch!"
Favre never did get the soap but he did get to take a nice little ride in the Texas Rangers' squad car.
When he arrived at the police station he was booked, fingerprinted, and photographed. The receptionist made about 50 copies of Favre's mugshot. Ranger Cutshaw had Brett Favre autograph them and Cutshaw then sold them all within 10 minutes for $20 each.
SIDENOTE: Brett Favre was released on $98,000 bail. He says that he will probably end up pleading guilty and paying the damn fine because since this is Texas he knows that if he goes to trail there is a damn good chance that before it's all over he could very well end up sitting on 'Sparky' (the Texas Prison Department of Corrections electric chair).