Outer Space-- The space-shuttle Discovery was filled with a thick cloud of marijuana smoke early today. Chief astronaut, Major Anthony Nelson, reported to Houston Control that the shuttle was filling up with very sweet smelling gray smoke. Major Nelson began laughing a few minutes later as everyone aboard the shuttle became instantly stoned.
It isn't known which astronaut began smoking the marijuana. A burning joint was found inside the water closet, along with a small pocket fan. The silly, stoned astronaut apparently forgot there's no air in Outer Space.
Concerned Houston officials cancelled all scientific experiments for the day. A thoughtful technician at Houston Control transmitted some Pink Floyd music to the stoned astronauts.
The seven stoned astronauts aboard Discovery decided to enjoy themselves. They all began looking out the windows at the beautiful stars and they kept a sharp lookout for UFO's. One astronaut began cooking brownies in the microwave. Another astronaut began looking around for glass tubes to make a bong. Everyone wanted to go for a space-walk while stoned. No one could figure out how to put on the spacesuits, so they all took naps instead.
After the nap, an ounce of sticky marijuana buds was found taped to the bottom of a chair. The crew sat around doing bong hits for an hour until they were all completely wasted. Years of scientific training and military discipline went up in smoke.
Alarmed Houston officials soon received a disturbing call from a very stoned Major Nelson.
"Hey, guess what? A genie just appeared in the space station." he laughed hysterically. Familiar, bubbly music from a 1960's sitcom was heard and then contact was lost forever with the shuttle.