In a recent townhall meeting, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi promised that the new healthcare bill would be "a rollicking rollercoaster of health related laughs and adventure."
Speaking before a large group of citizens of Iowa, Pelosi was dressed in a sombrero draped with a colorful stethoscope made of flowers. In the background the song "Good Lovin'" was playing loudly as Pelosi swayed to the music. "Good Lovin', that's right" she said "and we're lovin' the new bill that puts the HEALTH in HEALTHCARE!"
Pelosi said the new, revised plan offered a guarantee of comedians in every doctor's office and "more fun videos in the waiting rooms, not just the stuff about cholesterol and exercise." Pelosi added "We're hoping to get Ray Romano."
"And that's not all" Pelosi promised. "You can win prizes for being sick. Won't that be awesome? And the doctors will all be nice looking! You singles out there ought to like that!" she said to the crowd as cheers erupted.
A crowd member stated that he was glad to have a new president in the White House, as he knew the president could be counted on to help out when things got rough. "I called the White House the other day, and I even think the president would have come to the phone to talk about helping me pay my mortgage. It's just a feeling I got, but it was real, let me tell you. It was real, man!"
"You bet it was real!" said Pelosi as she told the crowd "the new healthcare bill is more fun than a barrel of something fun. We're calling it the "Everyday is Healthcare Christmas!" plan. And everyone's been good this year!"