Written by Will Spears
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Sunday, 30 August 2009

image for The Rabbit is Out of the Hat
I think his hat is a rabbit.

After a long and grueling court battle, magician Hairy Duheeny has been acquitted of fraud charges. Duheeny, a semi-professional magician, faced charges of fraud, when Shaniqua Robbins (now known as Shaun) brought his underground side business as a sex change doctor to the attention of the authorities.

Duheeny had been operating a business offering discount sex changes for about five years, until Robbins filed fraud charges against him early this spring when she/he was disappointed with her/his results. When asked why she/he filed the charges Robbins responded: "Sho nuf I is a man now, but I ain't wantin' this little peckerwood white-boy pecker"

The way Mr. Duheeny's business works, two people wanting a sex change are needed, one being male and one being female. Once there are two willing candidates they are put into a long wooden box with only there arms, heads and feet sticking out, then they are simply sawed in half and the boxes are switched the female gets the male's bottom half and the male gets the female's bottom half. Shaniqua Robbins received the bottom half of one Charlie Jones (now known as Clara). When questioned Jones said that he/she was happy with the results "there is nothing wrong with being bi-racial and you know what they say once you go black you never go back" Jones replied.

We caught up with Duheeny for a few questions after a performance at a kid's birthday party. When asked about the court case Mr. Duheeny said "I am glad to be back in business, and just ready to put this all behind me. I am sorry that Robbins isn't happy with the results, and I have offered him free session if he is able to find someone who wants to exchange bottom half's with him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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