Written by Rodd Justice
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Thursday, 4 April 2002

image for 20th Hijacker Admits Sleeping In
It?s a b-! No,

The so-called 20th hijacker, who was due to take part in the 9/11 September 11th suicide attacks admitted in court today that he slept in on the morning of the event. "I was meant to be the navigator for the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania, but my clock radio malfunctioned," said the lethargic monster.

The man, real name Twentieth Hijacker, 32, arse-hole, described how he had tuned into metal station "103.6 VIOLENCE AND VENGEANCE FM" the evening before, in preparation for his 7am start. However, he said "I'm just a student of the Qu'oran - students never get up at that time."

Waking at 10.30am, he'd missed all the drama in New York and Washington, and instead rushed to McDonald's, where he found he'd also missed out on his chance for a Bacon and Egg McMuffin. This enraged Hijacker, who then attempted to suicide fry someone's French Fries, before being caught by police.

Police also found that he had a stolen traffic cone in his room. Asked where he got it from, Hijacker said, "one of my mates just?found it. In the street, last night." The FBI are investigating whether this is significant to the attack plan or whether he was just pissed up the previous night.

The investigation continues.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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