Los Angeles, Ca., USA The reasoning behind the numerous delays in laying Michael Jackson's decaying corpse to rest were cleared up today when Elsie Poncher announced that representatives of Jackson's estate had purchased the vault directly above the remains of Hollywood film star Marilyn Monroe from her on his behalf. The vault in question is located in the Westwood Village Memorial Park in Los Angeles.
The vault sold for nearly five million dollars following an online auction on eBay initiated by Poncher, the widow of the current occupant, in order to raise enough cash to pay off the mortgage on her Beverly Hills home.
Sharp eyed reporters became suspicious when Poncher revealed that the name the buyer used to take part in the auction contained the initials "OS" and they subsequently deduced that the initials merely represented the two middle letters of the word "nose", a known alias of Michael Jackson; Poncher later confirmed that the reporters had correctly identified the the new occupant.
Members of the Jackson family were said to have been extremely interested in the acquisition of the vault because they hoped to lay to rest all speculation concerning Jackson's sexual orientation and deviant practices due to the location above Monroe, Hollywood's most famous sex symbol.
Difficulties arose when the check issued by the estate initially bounced but the matter was resolved when Joe Jackson presented a suitcase full of money orders purchased at Wal Mart in full payment of the winning bid.
The delay in payment resulted in the latest postponement of the funeral from August 29 to September 3.