In a stunning news announcement, it was learned today that Ted Kennedy was actually dead for ten hours before it was reported. Instead of dying in his home on Tuesday evening, it actually happened in the early afternoon.
One of those involved, speaking on conditions of anonymity, said that "we had plans for the evening and there was a roast in the oven, so we didn't want to have to change everything around just for that.
"Besides, a few of us wanted to go swimming and we figured Uncle Teddy would understand. After all, he's gone for a swim on the day that people have died before.
"We kind of did a Weekend at Bernie's thing with him for a while, figuring that he could at least enjoy the activities in spirit, ....since he couldn't enjoy them with spirits, like he normally would."