Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: KKK

Monday, 31 August 2009

image for The KKK To Get Its Own TV Reality Show
The Grand Exalted Dragon Wizard of the Order of The White Orchid Elmer Elroy Pawtucket (Front Left).

ATLANTA - The F Network has just announced that after months of back-and-forth negotiations they have finally reached an agreement with the Ku Klux Klan to star in their very own television reality show.

F Network Vice-President Curtis C. Clutchstone stated that he was finally able to convince the Grand Exhalted Dragon Wizard of The Order of The White Orchid Elmer Elroy Pawtucket, 63, to participate in the reality show.

Pawtucket said that the reason that he did not want his organization shown on national television was because he was afraid that the network would make them look like they were just a bunch of bigoted, racist, uneducated yokels who did not even make it out of the fourth grade.

Clutchstone promised him that they would not make them look like they were just a bunch of bigoted, racist, uneducated yokels who did not make it out of the fourth grade.

He promised him that he would do his very best to show that the members of the KKK were all very intelligent individuals who were very knowledgable in areas such as cow milking, carpentry, fishing, crop rotating, parade marching, and barbecuing.

Clutchstone said that he would even try his best to get some of the KKK members to appear on highly educated shows such as Wheel of Fortune, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, and The Oprah Winfrey Show, ah make that The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

Pawtucket originally had been the Order of The White Orchid's vice grand exhalted dragon wizard in Louisiana.

But when Hurricane Katrina hit it completely destroyed their meeting hall and with it the dozens of suitcases that were holding the robes, the hoods, and the official KKK boxer shorts with the KKK logo monogrammed in orange on each one.

But through various fund raisers that the dedicated Ku Klux Klan wives, known as the KKKettes, had such as the Annual White Cornbread Sale, The Yearly White Hood and White Robe Sewing Festival, and The National 297 Reasons Why We Hates The NBA Jamboree the KKK organization was able to raise a little over $7,000.

And that $7,000 was used to buy more hoods and robes and it also helped to pay for the printing of several hundred KKK membership enrollment brochures.

The Grand Exhalted Dragon Wizard Elmer Elroy Pawtucket stated in the latest editon of the Ku Klux Klan monthly publication, Klandestine that they will be holding their annual membership drive down in Mobile, Alabama throughout the month of September.

Pawtucket said that their goal this year is to hopefully sign up at least three new members.

He stressed that members no longer get paid like they did back in the 50s and 60 but there are some nice fringe benefits such as the brand new fringe hoods and fringe robes, state-of-the-art Zippo lighters, and coupons for 20 percent off at all White Castle Burgers south of the Mason-Dixon line.

SIDENOTE: The Ku Klux Klan reality show which will be called Peek-a-Boo will premier on September 18, which interestingly enough is the birthdate of 6 foot 11 inch Boston Celtic Rasheed Wallace.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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